Cloudy Thinking

You are reading this on the Internet, so you know it’s true. This morning I was up and at ‘em early. I grabbed my laptop and drove to the Cajun Kitchen where I ordered hash browns and eggs.

My wife sometimes reads this blog, which by and large she thinks “lacks a strong focus” or is just plain boring! For my sake, let’s hope she skips this particular story.

While I sat in the Cajun Kitchen reading The New York Times, out of the corner of my eye I just barely noticed a few college women start to drift in.

Since I didn’t look closely, all I can report is that very likely they may have been attractive.

Not that I care, one way or the other. But as an ex-sociologist, I try to be aware of my surroundings. One never knows where danger lurks, does one?

The stream of women coming in the door continued, maybe 25 in all. It was obvious (sociologically speaking) that some sort of sorority event was unfolding.

Since the weather is nice this time of year in Santa Barbara, CA they gathered in the outdoor patio. (Most patios are outdoors, come to think of it.)

As I continued to read the Internet, I broke into a cold sweat. My guess was they were planning a surprise for one of their sisters. Very likely, they had arranged to have a male stripper perform as they all sipped champagne.

There’s nothing wrong with that. Since my back was turned (except when I was stealing a brief glace to assess the danger level), it certainly would not have offended me.

The reason I was sweating was a simple “what if?” question.

What if… the male stripper was a no-show?

What if… they demanded that I take the gig?

What if… they started throwing $20 bills at me, trying to encourage lewd acts?

Would I be strong enough to resist?

I quickly drank my coffee, paid my bill and got out. Better safe than sorry, as my mother taught me.

You are reading this on the Internet, so you know it’s true.

P.S. If you are especially astute, or have a good memory, you may wonder if the Cajun Kitchen was where I observed Texting Behavior.

You would be correct. These things just happen to me.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 17th, 2006 at 7:10 pm and is filed under Humor. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.